Monday, July 20, 2015

How to Keep Cats Off Kitchen Counters

Today's Gratuitous Kitteh Monday is dedicated to the prevention of kitteh homicide.

So, any of you fine readers who have been around my blog lately know that I just upgraded my kitchen. If you want a reminder, check out my posts here, here, and here. I did 80% of the work myself and it was worth every drop of sweat and curse word that came out of my body.

The biggest improvement to the kitchen and my pride-and-joy is my new outside vented range hood. Getting that thing up there, to include figuring out how to vent it when we couldn't go through the ceiling was probably the most challenging part of this whole project, not to mention the range hood itself was very expensive.

So, when I was up on a step stool cleaning this off for the first time, I about lost my shit when I saw this:

and THIS


There is only one explanation for what this is and how it happened: my asshole cats.

Don't get me wrong, I love my cats immensely, but sometimes cats can be assholes. Now, I know cats will be cats and they jump up on things. I normally don't have a problem with that with ONE exception: the kitchen counters and the dinner table. I don't want cats on the surfaces where I either prepare or eat food. I don't even like my cats in the kitchen when I'm cooking food, as they get underfoot and that can be irritating and dangerous, especially when I'm doing things like canning.

My cats know they are not supposed to get up on my counters or table and won't do it when either my husband or myself are in the room, but I know they do it. I know they do it because I've caught them up there after I've LEFT the kitchen and returned, or I see their little kitteh paw prints on the glass top stove.

Chaz, in particular is the jumper. One of the benefits of closing in the space above the kitchen cabinets is that he not longer has his own personal cat walk up there. I'm assuming these scratches happened when we were in the process of closing up the upper cabinet space, he got up there and tried to jump on top of the range hood from the cabinets, and then slid off. Another thought is that he is jumping from the top of the refrigerator ONTO the range hood now...I try not to think about that, as that makes me start to hyperventilate.

Enter the PetSafe Ssscat Spray Deterrent

This ingenious product is basically a can of pressurized air attached to a motion sensor. When a cat jumps up on, or goes into/onto an area where he/she is not supposed to, this happens:

Now, some of you may think this is mean or cruel, but it is actually a training aid. It is even recommended by Jackson Galaxy, the infamous "cat whisperer" and IT WORKS! All it takes is a few times for your naughty kittehs to learn that jumping up on a kitchen counter isn't worth getting the shit scared out of them.

BTW, this also works on scaring the shit out of people who forget that it's on the kitchen counter and then go into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee or a soda or I dunn....WAAAAA...CRAP IT GOT ME AGAIN!!!

The can is operated by 4 AAA batteries and can be adjusted by the height and intensity of the air blast. Sorry this pic is so blurry...

I put it on my counter right next to the refrigerator, which hopefully will keep a kitteh from jumping up on the refrigerator and then on top of the range hood in the first place.

I know it has worked at least one time on my asshole kittehs. I was working in my office when I heard a huge commotion downstairs. I went down into the kitchen and Chaz was crouching in the middle of the kitchen floor giving furtive glances at the new monster on the kitchen counter. I figured he jumped up there and got the shock of his life. I do know now that I rarely see kitteh paw prints on my glass top stove.

Kitteh homicide prevented!

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