It’s so simple! You’ll see the pounds melt away right before your eyes! All you have to do is follow these simple rules:
Rule 1: For the first 6 days of the diet, find a house 4 states away from your current residence, paint 3 rooms, and sealcoat the garage floor. Return home via a 14 hour train ride.
Rule 2: For the remaining 4 days of the diet, pack-up your entire household for relocation in 4 days or less. Return to new residence via a 14 hour train ride.
Rule 3: During this 10 day period, you may eat anything you want, as much as you want; however, limit yourself to eating once a day, preferably at a time in the evening when you are too exhausted to care.
Rule 4: Climb and descend the 2nd story and basement stairs no less than 1,492 times.
Rule 5: Limit yourself to no more than 5 hours of sleep per night.
Rule 6: Arrange for emergency carpet cleaning, air conditioning repair, and backup moving companies at a moment’s notice. Burn extra calories by keeping your adrenaline revved!
Disclaimer: Due to higher-than-average weather temperatures, residents of Southern California, Arizona, Florida, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama will experience the best results from this diet.