Thursday, June 24, 2010

Bruised Ego Jam

Can Jam Challenge #6

This month's Can Jam Challenge brings you a fairy tale full of promise and disappointment. Enjoy.

nce upon at time, there was a bee-yoooo-tiful princess who decided one day to collect fresh berries from the forest (okay, a swampy area next to an office building in a business park). The princess knew there was a very rare and secret patch of blackberry bushes that had given her delicious berries in the past, but the harvest was always too small. But a very cold winter and a warm spring had made this year’s blackberry bushes heavy with fruit, and the princess was off to gather the bounty.

After she had collected the luscious, wild blackberries, the beautiful princess wondered what she would do with them. Surely since these were no ordinary berries, they deserved something special and magical. “I know,” she thought “I will ask the fairy Godmother Christine Ferber for guidance!” So, the princess summoned the fairy Godmother and was lead to a recipe of fresh blackberry and blueberry jam. “Oh, how delicious!” exclaimed the princess, “I will make it at once.”

The princess followed the fairy Godmother’s recipe directions exactly. “This is going to be the most scrumptious jam the kingdom has ever tasted,” thought the princess. She envisioned dark, jeweled jars filled with the delicious jam, and how the very taste of it would make the prince fall in love with her over, and over again (okay, my awesome husband).

Suddenly, at the very last moment, two evil sock serpents appeared and whispered in the princess’ ear, “Cook the jam to 240° versus 220°….trussssst ussssss.” The princess was confused and in haste, she cooked the jam at the higher temperature. Immediately, the princess knew there was something wrong. The beautiful jam had become sticky and tough. The once beautiful blackberries were sort of crunchy!

The princess wept and cursed a streak of obscenities that would make a sailor blush. “All that work! All that time! Those beautiful berries are ruined!” she cried. The jam was so terrible, that the princess didn’t even bother processing it in the jars. She left the jars on the kitchen counter as a sad reminder of how important it is to double-check jam processing instructions, even if you have done it a million times.

The End.


Doris the Goat said...

And this is how the princess came to issue an edict exiling sock puppets from the kitchen forever more...

Just the Right Size said...

LOL Doris! I had to find a way to avoid dodging those spits and spurts of hot, molten jam.

This is the only thing I could think of.

It worked, but they were evil indeed!

Mimi said...

ARggggg. I'm so sorry.

Just the Right Size said...

Mimi, yeah it was a bummer. I had such high hopes! Sigh.

Cynthia said...

You should have canned it! In Britain, they call this "Fruit Cheese" and serve it sliced. It's good. Here's one for a plum cheese:


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